Children’s lives are not stress-free. Many kids are in school for up to 8 hours a day, plus time in extracurricular activities. They meet new friends in new environments and interact with many adults throughout the school day. Kids study problem sets, take tests, and follow a schedule that they have little, if any, say in coordinating. And like, adults, children deal with colds, muscle aches and mental fatigue. Parents need to provide support and help their kids develop their own way of tackling life challenges. Because kids who are resilient have an easier time navigating obstacles and extract more joy from their daily life.

Why Resiliency is Important

Resilience is the ability to adapt well to adversity, trauma, threats and other difficult situations. Resilient kids are problem solvers and they tackle unfamiliar situations in stride, seeking ways to find a solution rather than being overcome with anxiety.

Top Tips on Raising Resilient Kids

  • Avoid accommodating every need of the child.
  • Give kids age-appropriate freedom and help them learn and set their own limits.
  • Try replacing Why questions with How questions. By way of example, asking “How will you fix the situation?” can foster problem solving skills. Conversely, asking “Why did you lose the money?” can lead to feeling blamed and anxious without any resolution.
  • Help your child recognize, accept, and manage their emotions.
  • Teach specific skills such as how to start a conversation or how to practice viewing a situation from the other person’s perspective.
  • Being calm and resilient parents will provide a great example for your children.
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Recommended Reading

Henry Cloud

  • Summary. This workbook details the steps for raising kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. Focus is placed on establishing family boundaries and positive character development. Exercises in the book help parents establish appropriate consequences and help kids develop self-control.

  • Reviews. Users of this workbook enjoy the structure and organization of the recommendations for setting consequences that really establish boundaries for children. The book is well written and easy to understand. Following the guidelines can lead to improved parent-child communication issues.

Order a Copy

Christine Carter

  • Summary. Carter covers pressure points of parenting, including how to discipline, stay organized, and how to help children build healthy relationships and emotional intelligence. The 10 steps are aimed at helping parents act confidently and consistently to praise kids, teach kindness and compassion, and raise grateful kids.

  • Reviews. Parents praise the book for providing insights into improving communication and parenting with a positive mindset. Reviews feel the contents are well written, easy to read and engaging. The specific ideas outlined in the book, based on solid research, are explained in great detail while also being easy to read and understand.

Order a Copy

Additional Information

Encourage Your Kids to Create Their Own Way of Problem Solving

Raising Resilient Children

ML Notes – a quick summary of the article:

  • Key characteristics make the difference between kids who flourish in the face of adversity and those who stumble upon the smallest obstacle. Help your children develop the four “C”s of resiliency. Connection is drawn through empathetic engagement and communication. Competency develops through celebrating and reinforcing each child’s strengths. Control helps children solve problems and cope with change. Commitment encourages children to persist, develop strong work ethic and support causes other than their own.

7 Ways to Raise a Resilient Child

ML Notes – a quick summary of the article:

  • Resilience is a critical characteristic to cultivate in your children. The ability to deal with challenges is a skill that allows individuals to move through life freely and with self-confidence.

  • Allow your child to flounder in safe situations. Making their own decisions fosters self-reliance and resilience. You can help your kids develop creative problem solving skills by putting them in charge of resolving simple day-to-day issues, such as when you’re missing certain ingredients for dinner. When you teach kids to recognize the magnitude of challenges, they learn to understand that obstacles can be great opportunities.

How to Raise a Resilient Kid but Not a Stubborn Loner

ML Notes – a quick summary of the article:

  • Resilience matters because frustration, failure and difficulty are part of life. It’s the responsibility of parents to teach kids how to develop the skills they need to solve problems, cope with rejection, and overcome frustrations.

  • Teach resilience through positive role modeling. When parents act calm during stressful situations, kids learn that it’s possible to cope with unexpected issues. Recognize when it’s time to intervene and when it’s time to allow children to find their own way to solve a problem. It’s also important to remember that even if the outcome is not the one your child hoped to achieve, the act of trying to resolve the issue on their own is an important life lesson.