Children’s lives are not stress-free. Many kids are in school for up to 8 hours a day, plus time in extracurricular activities. They meet new friends in new environments and interact with many adults throughout the school day. Kids study problem sets, take tests, and follow a schedule that they have little, if any, say in coordinating. And, like adults, children deal with colds, muscle aches and mental fatigue. Parents need to provide support and help their kids develop their own way of tackling life challenges. Because kids who are resilient have an easier time navigating obstacles and extract more joy from their daily life.

Why Resiliency is Important

Resilience is the ability to adapt well to adversity, trauma, threats and other difficult situations. Resilient kids are problem solvers and they tackle unfamiliar situations in stride, seeking ways to find a solution rather than being overcome with anxiety.

Top Tips on Raising Resilient Kids

  • Avoid accommodating the child’s every need or want.
  • Give kids age-appropriate freedom and help them learn and set their own limits.
  • Try replacing Why questions with How questions. By way of example, asking “How will you fix the situation?” can foster problem solving skills. Conversely, asking “Why did you lose the money?” can lead to feeling blamed and anxious without any resolution.
  • Help your child recognize, accept, and manage their emotions.
  • Teach specific skills such as how to start a conversation or how to practice viewing a situation from the other person’s perspective.
  • Being calm and resilient parents will provide a great example for your children.

November 11, 2022
Updated by Motherly Life

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

These quick summaries of hand-picked articles help parents stay informed and find the right information to raise happy, successful kids.

Encourage Your Kids to Create Their Own Way of Solving Problems

Motherly Life Notes

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Empower Children to Make Decisions

Allow your child to flounder in safe situations. Making their own decisions fosters self-reliance and resilience. You can help your kids develop creative problem solving skills by putting them in charge of resolving simple day-to-day issues, such as when you’re missing certain ingredients for dinner. When you teach kids to recognize the magnitude of challenges, they learn to understand that obstacles can be great opportunities.

Resilience is a critical characteristic to cultivate in your children. The ability to deal with challenges is a skill that allows individuals to move through life freely and with self confidence.

7 Ways to Raise a Resilient Child

Be a Positive Role Model

Resilience matters because frustration, failure and difficulty are part of life. It’s the responsibility of parents to teach kids how to develop the skills they need to solve problems, cope with rejection, and overcome frustrations.

Teach resilience through positive role modeling. When parents act calm during stressful situations, kids learn that it’s possible to cope with unexpected issues. Recognize when it’s time to intervene and when it’s time to allow children to find their own way to solve a problem. It’s also important to remember that even if the outcome is not the one your child hoped to achieve, the act of trying to resolve the issue on their own is an important life lesson.

How to Raise a Resilient Kid Not a Stubborn Loner

Help Your Children Become Resilient

Motherly Life Notes

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Help Children Develop the Four “C”s of Resiliency

Key characteristics make the difference between kids who flourish in the face of adversity and those who stumble upon the smallest obstacle. Help your children develop the four “C”s of resiliency. Connection is drawn through empathetic engagement and communication. Competency develops through celebrating and reinforcing each child’s strengths. Control helps children solve problems and cope with change. Commitment encourages children to persist, develop strong work ethic and support causes other than their own.

Raising Resilient Children

Teach Kids to Become Resilient

Resilient kids have an easier time navigating daily obstacles and life’s challenges. Avoid accommodating every need of the child and instead teach skills to help them recognize and manage emotions. Help your kids develop creative problem solving skills and they will tackle unfamiliar situations by finding solutions rather than becoming overwhelmed with anxiety.

Read more about how to raise kids to take responsibility for their actions and build healthy relationships.

How to Raise Resilient Kids