Many parents would agree it can be difficult to understand kids as they near adolescence. But it’s not impossible to recognize and then understand what tweens and teens are experiencing. They have increased academic challenges, physical changes, new schools and peers, and greater competition across their extracurricular activities.

We wanted to share a few thoughts we hope are helpful to you as parents of tweens and teens.

  • Clarify and discuss the rules with kids and also help them understand why those rules are in place. Try to understand their perspective; this is not only about enforcing rules. It is to ensure your underlying objectives are met, whether that’s respectful behavior, enough sleep for good health, safety, or other purpose.
  • Allow kids to make choices and mistakes. Tweens and teens can mature through independent decision-making. When they learn from their mistakes, they avoid making the same mistake twice.
  • Encourage independence and allow kids to learn through their own discoveries, not only your past experiences.
  • Recognize the importance of your role as parents. You are their role model. They are watching, taking cues and learning directly from you.
  • Take the time to know what is important to your kids. Understand their interests and their motivations to discover and learn.
  • Respect their choices when it comes to their extracurricular activities and goals.
  • Listen to what they have to say. They are learning about the world and taking on new adventures and challenges. Listen and understand their perspective.

Teens Still Need Their Parents

The most difficult time to parent may be when kids are trying to push us away. Remind yourself that is when they need you most. Stay involved as your child becomes more independent. As they make their own choices within the parameters of your family values, you can support their growth and development.

RECOMMENDED READING

About Untangled

Summary. Learn how to engage with your daughter in constructive ways. This award-winning guide addresses the behavior of teens and explains what is going on with young girls to help parents prepare for real life situations. Untangled offers parents a framework for understanding the anxiety, social stress, emotional changes, and other developmental transitions that their daughters experience.

Reviews. Untangled is filled with advice backed by clinical research, but is easy to read. The social and emotional development stages of young girls is presented in a way that helps parents better understand their teenage daughters. For example, this book informs readers about continued brain development through puberty, reminding parents that teenage emotional outbursts are a natural part of growing up. The author then goes on to recommend how to manage the emotional roller coaster. Many parents comment that they learned how to recognize what their children were going through, which words to say to make a difference, and how to maintain a close relationship with their children.

Summary. Carter covers pressure points of parenting, including how to discipline, stay organized, and how to help children build healthy relationships and emotional intelligence. The 10 steps help parents act consistently and confidently to praise children, teach kindness and compassion, and raise grateful kids.

Reviews. Parents praise this book for providing insights into improving communication and parenting with a positive mindset. Reviewers feel the content is well written, easy to read, and engaging. The specific ideas outlined in the book, based on solid research, are explained in great detail while also being simple to understand and easy to put into practice.

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